It Happens!
Defeat is not a word in my vocabulary...
This post has taken me some time to write, due to the fact of getting over 3 DNF's in a row. I flew out to Colorado at the end of June to participate in my first Pro XCT races. I had put all of my money, time and energy into this event in order to gain UCI points for National's call ups and more importantly to experience more high caliber racing like that of "Sea Otter Classic." I was totally fired up and felt very prepared for what lay ahead of me. Getting 2nd to last row call up in the XC, I knew the start of the race was going to be a challenge as within 1/4 of a mile the course the trail funneled into a very steep, sandy climb.
I had tactically and aggressively moved my way up one by one, getting into the top 20 on the 3rd lap of the 6 lap race. I was feeling strong, intense, and proud of myself for maintaining composure during the chaotic first two laps. However, my good feeling soon vanished as on the descent of the 3rd lap, I hit a rock and instantly my tire went flat. Luckily, I didn't crash and no one was right behind me to get hurt. I pulled off to the side and did a quick inspection of the tire. I noticed Stan's coming out of the tread in the center of my tire and knew that my CO2 was not going to do me any good. The pit was relatively close by, so instead of giving up, I started to run my bike to it as riders passed by. When I got to the pit, no one was able to give me a wheel. I was devastated. My heart sunk, as I realized my race was over. The women who said, "Oh no! What happened? I was rooting for you! You were doing so well out there, looking strong!" I am not even sure if I was able to be present and acknowledge her kind words in the moment, as my mind was elsewhere, but they have stuck with me! It sure was a drag to not have team or neutral mechanic support at an important event.
After figuring out that my tire was also torn at the bead where it seals to the rim, I realized I needed a new tire in order to participate in the STXC event the next day. Kenda Tire was there and did not have ideal light weight, low profile treaded race tires for the course, but I bought two Slant SIXs in order to get back in the game.
My legs felt good to go Sunday morning before the STXC. However, I was called up last row again due to not having any UCI points so far. On the first lap, I moved up really fast, despite the chaos! I was holding my own when it was only on the 3rd lap of the 1 mile loop that I went to down shift around the corner before climbing and my chain jammed up on me! It is practically impossible to be patient in a STXC event, so I did my best to try and shift again, but was un-successful. Since I was going up hill, I had no choice but to get off and pull to the side. It wasn't too much longer after I had flipped my bike upside down to inspect the issue that the leaders were going through the start/finish line. I knew that I was going to be lapped so I pulled myself from the race. I couldn't help but feel completely down and out. Negativity surged through my veins the rest of that evening until I could go take a walk and sit down in the grass at a park to clear my head and reflect on all that had occurred.
I re-focused my thoughts to positive ones, thinking about why I ride and race my bike and what truly makes me happy. In every sport, set-backs within and out of your control are inevitable. For some reason, I believe that it is as much the unfortunate circumstances as the fortunate ones that keep us athletes coming back for more! So, that I did. I got settled back at home and decided to participate in another local Root 66 race in Keene, NH. I was excited to get in some good technical riding and have a fun time. My mind and body were both in the right place.
First lap, I got the hole shot of 9 riders. 4 of us stayed on each other's wheels for the first lap. Starting the 2nd lap, myself and another rider pulled off the front and stayed close together. We went into the 3rd lap and she started to pull away. I went into "panic mode" and started feeling out of control on my bike. For some reason, I just could not focus on the trail, as I had been able to on the first two laps. As we were on a descent about half way through the loop, I took a nasty digger! Instant pain on my right knee and left thigh. I had slammed down hard, but shook it off and got back on the bike. Despite the twisty trail, I could still see first place not too far ahead and knew I could kick it into my red line zone to get back up there. However, I went to shift and another chain jam! I got off and 3rd place passed me. I noticed my rear derailleure was bent. I tried to re-align it, but I had no luck. 4th and 5th place had passed me and I felt that is was best to save myself the further frustration of trying to complete another lap with my mechanical so I pulled out.
I was grateful to have had the support of my mother at the race and be my chauffeur. I made sure not reminisce too much about the negative and to be happy that I even had the opportunity to get out and pedal by bike. It is easy to get so caught up in the game and loose sight of what really matters...inside and outside of athletic competitions. Through the experiences these past few weeks within my athletic and personal life, I have remembered that being present, meaning not to dwelling too much on the past with the "woulda, shoulda, couldas", and to not getting too side-tracked with thoughts of what will the future hold, allows me to be all that I really am, to my fullest potential, in the here and now! Awareness is the first step to success :)
"The purpose of pain and struggle in life is to regain the inner power of the mind and the innate courage of the heart!"
The spiffy, brand new, 2014 Ford Focus I got to drive around. Not as fast as a Mustang, but close enough! What a smooth ride!
Snazzy knew Scott kit! Felt "so pro" pre-riding the course
The USA Cycling Headquarters where the pro pre-rider meeting was held. Now THAT's what I call a wheel, and check out those "arro-bars" on that TT bike! Classic.
This nail head of a puncture that ruined my XC race! There also ended up being a tear on the bead where the tire seals with the rim...if only I had support in the pit I would have been able to keep kicking butt and have a solid finish...
At least I got my watch tan going for me! Thanks for the rays CO...I have been missing them riding in the deep, dark forests of New England, haha!
(a few more pictures coming!)
